| Steven Harrison has written a really excellent book called Being One. A really excellent book. Not to say that it's necessarily an easy one to hear or understand accurately. Harrison is one of the few writers who is clear, concise, to-the-point, and delves into deep and relevant issues while not getting bogged down in psycholinguistics or unnecessary complexity. He is also one of the few authors who is actually, as we say it, "working on the right problems" - who really gets down to the core, fundamental problem of what makes relationships problematic: namely, "ego" - as Harrison describes it, "the identification with a constructed self," and all of the dishonesty that grows out of that. (for similar yet unique thinkers along these lines, see also Roy Masters, Barry Long, and David Deida). The crux of Harrison's message, in our own loose interpretation, is this: most relationships (especially romantic) are based on a need, or incompleteness, or lack of personal fulfillment, and we think another person can fill for us, but come to find that ultimately they cannot. This "need" or "incompleteness" is another way of saying "ego," or the idea that we are separate and distinct, and we often search for the solution for this incompleteness (search for "IT") through a search for love, for being loved and loving another person. This need itself, however, is what eventually gets in the way. As we try to push, pull and make others do or become what we want, we have forgotten that we are in fact already complete (the title Be the Person You Want To Find says it well) - and that true relation occurs without judgement, without projection, protection, or need. What To Expect
Like these others, Being One can be a very good read, insightful and inspiring . . . but can be like poetry - an uplifiting pleasure to read, but often enough, before too long, the inspiration wears off and it's back to the grind In this way, Being One is in the same category as many other authors such as Marianne Williamson, Thomas Moore, the Stones, Gerald Jampolsky, and many others, in that he offers a frequently illuminating and at times profound message, yet in ways so lofty that it is difficult to "apply" in the real world. While all of these authors often present quality material and accurate insights, the "feel" of the books is more like poetry - inspiring and even profound, yet doesn't necessarily instructive on how to navigate the treacherous waters of gritty, day-to-day reality. In other words, it would very very interesting to pit Fromm and some of the above authors against, say, Tom Leykis. It also follows that this isn't a book, say, for someone looking for specific techniques on how to save their marriage. Although it can definitely help some individuals have a better relationship, it is not designed to solve specific problems, more to deepen understanding. It's high-level, philosophical. It's full of insights - but of course, the problem with "insights" that come from a book is that they must go through a process of
1) being correctly understood by the reader
2) being properly remembered by the reader and then
3) being usefully "applied" to the reader's life.
This can often be a difficult and treacherous process. There are "many slips between cup and lip," and many hazards often lie between the act of intellectually reading an "insight" in a book and correctly applying it to one's life. In addition, some of the messages are hard to hear because they don't fit in with many preconceived notions of love, psyche, etc. Harrison assumes many premises based on eastern philosophy (Vedanta and Zen) (or arguably, based on Harrison 's direct experience) - premises such as "we already exist in a sea of love" - which can be difficult if these assumptions are unfamiliar to the reader. If such concepts (or experiences that support the concepts), then the material will probably strike you as vague and indirect, and nonsensical. Finally, there is the added risk of, upon encountering Harrison's message, wandering into a hazy fog of self-delusion: whenever anyone begins to say such lofty things as "we exist in a sea of love" . . . "we spend our lives looking for something that is in front of our eyes" and aaaaaaaaall we need to do (as if it were that easy (although some say it is) is to "realize our oneness"" . . . the experience can potentially be more deluding than dropping a hallucinagen. The risk, in this sense, is similar to a guru-type sitting in front of a room, speaking to a crowd, and saying the words "everyone is enlightened." In this case, all kinds of folks - from your saints-right-off-the-street to your wife-beaters and rapists - hear these comforting, inspiring, soothing words . . . and walk out of the room thinking "Neato! I'm enlightened! How great is that?" (Note: enlightened people don't think this way.) In other words, instead of truly dropping the illusion that "one is not enlightened" (which, when it truly, really is experienced, is actually something closer to experiencing death) one now has added another illusion of thinking that one is enlightened. In a way, it's like being fast asleep and dreaming . . . and instead of actually waking up, now you are not only dreaming, but you are now also dreaming that you are awake. This can sometimes make actually waking up more difficult. The risk of hearing and misinterpreting such phrases as "we exist in a sea of love" - is that it might convince one that "love" is easy, effortless, and one is already a great lover with no actual work or application being needed in the real world. And just ask . . . say, Mother Theresa if it really works this way. Overall, Harrison has written a very good book, potentially a classic, but definitely worthy of reading and rereading many times. (Additional Note: Profits from Harrison's books go to All Together Now International, a charitable organization that supports projects in the U.S. , Tibet , and Nepal . Go Steve!) —LiveReal.com |
| A medieval troubadour sings a passionate song to his love. As the words pour forth in the melody, he sees his death in his feelings for her, yet he is willing to be consumed by his passion. Well, rats, love has to have more going for it than annihilation! And yet, that's where we so often seem to end up, consumed by a passion out of control or destroyed by the demise of a love that once seemed indestructible. Love just has to be better than that—after all, many sages tell us that love is the rootand crown of creation. Where do we go wrong? Steven Harrison provides us answers in Being One. Harrison's message is that only in the silence of the self is it possible to understand our relationship with the rest of the world. Only by giving up the ideas and convictions that move us from place to place across the game boards that have become our lives, he says, can we reach that place of peace. Harrison uses examples from his own life—the birth of his son, a trek to the Himalayas—to illustrate his ideas. The chapters examine aloneness—he quotes Chekhov's famous line, "If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry"—and he writes about how we look for comfort and validation in other people. This book about relationship and love ultimately argues for oneness and unity of being. "There is no such thing as relationship," Harrison writes, "because there is no one to relate from and there is no one to relate to." Before getting there, Harrison, author of Doing Nothing, Getting to Where You Are, and The Question to Life's Answers, examines the biological drive of sex, love as something beyond words that does not exist, and our "addiction to separation" and therefore to relationship. Don't let the book's compact size (5.125 by 7.5 inches, 133 pages) fool you—the book's subject matter is vast, because it covers the paradox of the human condition: "I need to be alone to find my true self, and I want not to be alone more that anything in the world!" Harrison says. Ultimately, he guides readers to a more realistic engagement with what is. This small, elegant book is easy to read—should you be in the throes of love's madness, as it were, you still can concentrate on this book! Harrison's prose has a lovely, Zen-like simplicity that supports his powerful message. He offers specific ways to "throw it all out" and start over with your authentic self, tranquil in the calm center of it all, finally at ease with all the paradoxes and contradictions of your all-too-human existence. Give it up. All of it. And all of it will be yours. The author's proceeds from the book are being donated to charities, including All Together Now International (www.alltogether.org), a visionary charity working with the impoverished and currently focused on Nepal, India, and Tibet. —New Age Retailer
September 2002 |
