I had the privilege of being asked to read and review a Life Choices: The Teachings of Abortion by abortion care pioneer Linda Weber. As someone who’s worked in abortion care myself, I was curious to hear what someone who’s worked in the field for decades had to say about the future of abortion care and how we can improve it. Instead of telling you how fantastic the book is (it is!), below is a glimpse into Weber’s beliefs and experiences first hand. In bold are the questions I asked her, followed by her thoughtful answers.

Your book revolves around your 40 years of experience as a counselor in an abortion clinic. You share the stories of many of your patients as well as your reflections on what these stories taught you. Can you share some of your self-care strategies? What kept you in abortion care work for 40 years?

I am a private psychotherapist, spiritual counselor, and women’s vision quest guide. I was in direct abortion services from 1970 to 1972 in New York City and from 1973 to 1987 in Boulder, Colorado. As you see, the forty years of counseling work has taken different forms. This keeps it interesting and stimulating to say the least. As a psychotherapist I hear all kinds of stories. Some of these are “gut-wrenching,” but mostly for the client. Part of the skill of a good counselor is to know how to receive people’s stories; in other words, how to listen correctly and reflect back to the person telling the story what it is I think I’m hearing along with insights into the importance of her story.

Care for myself is essential to be able to stay strong, centered, and receptive. In the early years of my work, I was occasionally overwhelmed by the intensity of what I was observing in my patients. As I matured and became more experienced, that kind of reaction to the work subsided. My self-care includes meditation, time in nature, journal writing, and making music, as well as regular down time. These things help me to maintain my perspective, which includes the understanding that whatever someone is going through holds the possibility for self-understanding and self-acceptance. As long as I am energized by the work I do, I will continue to do it.

You frequently discuss how “legal, freely chosen abortion” can lead to “authentic empowerment and autonomy for women.” Why do you frame abortion in this way? What role do you think women who’ve had abortions should play in the abortion rights movement? How can the abortion rights movement empower women who’ve had abortions without giving them the burden of speaking out about their experiences?

Illegal abortion is a truly horrible thing. It is not empowering; it is dangerous and traumatizing. Legal abortion is the opposite. While it can be difficult for women, it represents an expansion of the freedom to choose the direction of our lives. Reproductive choice making recognizes the individuality of a woman and her power to bring life through her body or not. The or not is of course the issue. Legal abortion raises profound issues about the role of women in society. This role has been determined for centuries by patriarchal law, which keeps women in limited roles defined primarily by marriage and motherhood. It is not coincidental that we are seeing significant societal changes at the same time that abortion has been legalized. It seems clear that we as a species have moved into a time of history when it is no longer necessary to be focused so exclusively on reproduction. As for individual psychology, I have witnessed life-changing growth for women when they courageously confront internal pain and conflicts about abortion. I have seen them step into their essence and life purpose with increased self-awareness that came directly from their willingness to address all the issues in their lives that were raised by their experience of abortion. Some of those stories are in the book.

As for political activism, that is up to the individual. There is no should with regard to women who have had abortions. With regard to empowering women, I think the pro-choice movement does that just by its existence and commitment to staying strong in the political arena. It can do more by embracing the full range of sensibilities among women. An organization that leads the way with this is Exhale, a post-abortion hotline out of Oakland, California. They describe themselves as pro-voice. It’s a good way to think about it.

You mention that working in abortion care lead you to see the lines blur between “pro-choice” and “pro-life.” It seems like most people identify somewhere in between those labels. How can the pro-choice movement both keep this in mind and continue to fight for abortion rights? Is there a way to change our messaging to better reflect the experience of women who’ve had abortions?

Most women making a decision about pregnancy are concerned about and feel responsible for life. This is as it should be given that pregnancy by definition is the channeling of life through the body. The attacks on women by the so-called pro-life movement make some women feel that somehow they are against life by choosing to have an abortion. In fact, the opposite is true. The choice of abortion is an active exercise of women’s role throughout history of making judgments about if, when, and where to bring life through. Abortion is just as pro-life as having a baby.

The pro-choice movement has to reclaim the word life. One way to do this is to talk about real life and to orient towards a perspective that embraces the way of life on Earth, which includes death (what I call taking life back into itself) as part of the flow. I think the recent “personhood” vote in Mississippi shows that most people whether they consider themselves pro-choice or pro-life, understand how real life works and will vote accordingly. So, I am suggesting that the best way to counter narrow ideological arguments is to broaden and deepen our own thinking.

You mention a medical model of abortion care, which isn’t sensitive to the emotional or spiritual needs of women seeking abortions. What do you propose as an alternative model? Some people say that having separate clinics that only perform abortions, for example, may further stigmatize abortion instead of incorporating the procedure into general medical practice. How do you negotiate both the need for feminist women’s health centers and the fact that they may further stigmatize abortion?

Women’s health clinics arose out of the women’s health movement, which was part of the women’s liberation movement. They filled a gap in care and emphasized education and empowerment. The movement was represented by the classic book, Our Bodies, Ourselves, now celebrating its 40th anniversary, and the feminist lobbying organization, the National Women’s Health Network (since 1975). Some abortion clinics follow this feminist model. Others are more like hospitals and follow traditional western medicine. Some are creative combinations of philosophies.

The medical model organizes care around the condition or disease, instead of centered in the person needing care. It recognizes the doctor as supreme. The alternative is to create forms that address medical needs in the context of people’s lives and that respect the narrative of those lives. It incorporates psychological and spiritual needs as intrinsic parts of treatment. Professionals act as a team and the patient has a central role in what happens. This would apply to all health care, not just women’s health. It’s a very large subject that I can’t go into depth about here.

The reason for separate services for abortion is mainly political. Abortion services have been ostracized in many communities. Many medical schools don’t even train physicians to perform abortions. I’ve heard that this is getting worse with the increase in the virulence of the fundamentalist religious influence on political discourse and the election of right wing legislators. I don’t think that having separate feminist health clinics stigmatizes abortion. I think that quite the opposite is true. Abortion is stigmatized because society is not yet able to fully embrace it as a legitimate part of life and a necessary and good health service. It is still in the shadow of social consciousness. Feminist health clinics lift abortion out of the shadow and into the light of legitimate experience. Just like safehouses and rape crisis teams, we look forward to a day when all women’s health services are incorporated as part of complete care.

—Abortion Gang

Linda Weber, M.A., has been a counselor for women for forty years. She is a private psychotherapist, spiritual counselor, and women’s vision quest guide in Boulder, Colorado. She was one of the first abortion counselors in the country, and is a founder of a women’s health center in Boulder. Linda’s courageous book, Life Choices: The Teachings of Abortion, is on a subject that sits at the forefront of our culture. Abortion is an important, albeit often contentious topic; and one deserving of every person’s thorough consideration. In Life Choices, Linda presents an intellectual, historical, psychological, philosophical and spiritual dissertation on this subject. Her accounts of client experiences and accessible language make the book eminently “readable”; and provide touching and thought-provoking perspectives on how our culture treats women and their reproductive needs.

We at Eve Laments take no position on abortion, but we wish to make Linda’s information available to all women.

CWF: Thank you for joining us Linda. Your book held many insights. Why did you decide to write it?

LINDA: Thank you for having me. I’m glad to be here. The writing of Life Choices began because of my desire to record what I was experiencing with the abortion work, but it became a much bigger statement as the years passed and I developed both professionally and personally. I began my work in abortion on the cusp of legalization, and was stunned by the beauty and power of the stories as I was hearing in counseling sessions. I wanted to integrate the stories with my understanding of historical and spiritual development and the evolution of humanity. As I followed the writing through the years, I was led to a deeper synthesis. The funny thing about books is that they know what they are before you do. I spent a lot of time catching up to what this book is… over twenty years.

CWF: What do you mean when you say that abortion should be viewed from a holistic perspective?

LINDA: By a holistic perspective I mean a perspective that takes into account the body-mind-soul-spirit nature of existence, both personally and collectively. This kind of perspective takes into account all facets and factors of a subject and allows you to find balance and truth. It’s the kind of thinking that can break through the disturbing political polarization around abortion. More importantly, it supports a woman to own the truth of her experience and see that having an abortion is a valid part of her life rather than an aberration or something wrong or bad. Choosing whether to bring life through the body, or not, is part of learning to make conscious, life-enhancing choices about the rest of our lives, about life in general, and about life on the planet. Women have had this responsibility throughout time and still have it.

CWF: What is the main thing you want your book to convey to members of our society, to women in particular, and to men?

LINDA: I hope to convey the necessity of re-orienting our thinking about abortion and the way we view life and death to a perspective that includes women’s reproductive choices in the center of society with everything else. I see the book as a guide to understand that all of life on our dear Earth is one interconnected reality, and that everything happens in a context and is reflective of relationship and interrelationship. I hope to inspire people to see that major issues and experiences in our lives and in the life of society are the ways we learn and evolve individually, collectively, and on a planetary level. I want to help women come into a stronger sense of themselves as whole people with nothing to be ashamed of with regard to sexuality and pregnancy choices. I hope that men as well as women will realize the changes that need to be made in the patriarchal organization of our lives, and come into their own as compassionate beings. If the book helps people to see that abortion can help us understand ourselves better and is not just a random issue in our society, but that it is pointing us towards profound changes in the fabric of society, I will have succeeded.

CWF: Would you explain how you believe abortion fits into nature and the life cycle?

LINDA: The Earth cycles continuously through life-death-life patterns. All forms of life are part of this movement from one state to another. The dying is essential to the living. Nothing is static, everything is moving, recycling, and changing form all the time. I learned this by spending significant time alone in wild nature as well as reading, meditating, and studying the nature of existence. Abortion—which I consider to be a re-absorption of life energy (saying no to one form to allow another form to coalesce and emerge)—involves consciousness. It is intentional. This introduces the idea that consciousness itself is part of nature. It is a natural part of being alive and human. Once we understand this, we naturally move to an attitude of humility and respect for all life. We learn to be careful and caring in all our life choices because the consequences of our choices can effect the whole in addition to our separate lives. This kind of awareness is entering human life in myriad ways at this time of history because our very survival as a species is at stake unless we learn to be more respectful and loving. When it comes to human reproduction, women are the ones who make intentional choices about bringing life through their bodies, or not. This is a simple ecological fact that is essential to life on the planet. That we are part of nature and not separate from it is something ancient peoples knew well. We are now charged to remember that.

CWF: What is the significance of the historical transfer of humanity from a matriarchal to a patriarchal society?

LINDA: In my study of history I have not encountered matriarchal societies. I don’t think there was a time when women were dominant. My understanding of the Goddess worship of ancient pre-patriarchal times and the earth-centered cultures is that women and men lived and worked cooperatively for the sake of the community. There was a close awareness of life creating itself all the time, of things coming into being and going away. There was respect for the forces of the universe and an attempt to live in peace with them. The division of labor did not involve dominance by one sex over the other. There was no such thing as individual property or accumulation of wealth. Life was about basic survival and discovery, the grand adventure of being in a body on the Earth in the context of the interrelationship of everything. There was an organic unity between human existence and the existence of everything else. Class society developed historically five thousand or so years ago at the same time that men began to dominate women and masculine ways became more central than feminine ways. The significance of the rise of patriarchy was the coming into being of the subordination of women who were the first slaves. I don’t think this interview is the place for me to attempt to explain why human economic history moved the way it did because that’s another huge subject. For a full discussion of the history of patriarchy, I recommend the work of historian Gerda Lerner.

CWF: What you’ve shared on the subject is fascinating, and I thank you for recommending another work for those who wish to read more. How does property and ownership fit into the picture?

LINDA: With the rise of class society and patriarchy, power resided in those who owned and controlled land and other property. Over these thousands of years, the ideas associated with ownership were applied to relationships between women and men. In order to enforce male dominance, laws were enacted that made children and women the property of men. These varied somewhat in different places and periods and only began to change a couple of hundred years ago. Women’s status was worse in the lower classes, but not equal anywhere as far as I know. It’s helpful to know the history because it helps us understand that our personal relationships are strongly influenced by ways of thinking that are embedded in our consciousness. As we become more aware, we can question and challenge some of our most habitual assumptions, such as the idea of belonging to another person or another person belonging to you. The questioning that is going on now and the changes that are happening for women all over the world are part of the evolution of humanity out of the ideology of dominance and ownership towards ways of living that are based on equality and cooperation. Pregnancy choices and reproductive health in general are moving to the center of humanity’s focus because how these issues are managed by society affects all people and the earth as a whole.

CWF: Would you speak to the transition of abortion from a personal matter to a legal one during the course of United States history?

LINDA: In the United States in the nineteenth century, there was a cult of motherhood in the upper and middle classes. Women were expected to confine themselves to domesticity and childbearing. Working class women had to both work and have babies. There was hardly any access to birth control, and women had many pregnancies and many children. Infant and maternal mortality were high. Midwives were the trusted arbiters of pregnancy both for birth and for earlier termination of pregnancy, but there was only a little they could do about the number of pregnancies because birth control methods like the ones we have today did not exist then. The rise of the male medical profession and laws and societies that formed to codify the dominance of men as doctors, pushed out the midwives. The American Medical Association was against abortion for the most part although the doctors also wanted to be the arbiters of whether and when abortion would occur. Middle class women in the U.S. were beginning to press for reforms, including education, the right to own property, the right to vote, and what they called voluntary motherhood. The early women’s movement wanted to stop men from forcing sex on their wives. The rate of abortion increased during this time, though the movement was divided about legalization. Abortion was associated with sex apart from reproduction, which was considered unrespectable and disreputable. Both birth control and abortion became illegal and went underground. In the early part of the twentieth century, Margaret Sanger began her work to improve women’s health care. This was the beginning of Planned Parenthood. However, birth control did not become legal around the country until 1965, and abortion fully so in 1973. The open struggle of women to be recognized and respected as individuals and as the arbiters of their own reproductive lives is relatively new historically, and still goes on today.

CWF: One has only to turn on the television to see that girls as young as 12 are engaging in sexual intercourse. Some say this is the “fault” of feminists. Others worry that the pressure on young girls to “put out” is putting them at great physical and psychological risk. Would you address these concerns?

LINDA: This is an important question. Girls need guidance about sexual matters, as do boys. Parents, teachers, and other significant adults are doing their best with this for the most part. But there is a lot of confusion about sex and sexuality because it has been repressed for so long and because there are differences in belief and approach. Plus, we live in a society that exploits anything and everything to make a profit. The glitz and glamour of sexy models and entertainers and the veneer of sexual freedom is enticing and seductive for young people, but it doesn’t give them any kind of realistic understanding of what it is really all about. Most adults are confused about sex and find it difficult to talk about it with each other, much less with their children. They don’t feel free themselves. The adults need to be supported to take the pressure off the kids and help them make choices about how they want to be. Sometimes the adults need to make the choices for the kids because the kids are too immature to make the choices themselves. The conversation needs to be about freedom and responsibility, fun and fitting in, self-respect and respecting others, navigating feelings, and accurate information and clear boundaries about the importance of making decisions that are right for you. And by the way, I’m not sure there are many twelve year olds engaging in sexual intercourse. Studies have shown that people think there is more sexual activity going on among young people than there actually is. Still, for those who are active, good guidance is essential.

CWF: Would you explain the concept of objectifying people? Does sexual freedom cause women to become objectified?

LINDA: Objectification is exactly what it sounds like—treating a person like an object instead of as a living breathing human with feelings and needs of her own. It is not caused by sexual freedom, quite the contrary. Objectification occurs in circumstances of inequality and oppression, when one group has power over other. In patriarchy—male dominated society—women have been treated as the sexual objects of men. Under capitalism, everyone is treated as an object to produce profit for those who control society. This is a complicated subject and I am simplifying it to answer the question. It’s really a huge discussion. But anyway, just staying with the sexual part of this, I can say that it is the power relations in society and in whatever circumstances you find yourself in and the attitudes of disregard for your wellbeing that will put you in the position of being objectified. In the early years of the current women’s movement there were demonstrations against construction workers for whistling and leering at any woman who walked by their worksite because it was outrageously insulting to be seen as a piece of ass or a piece of meat. This might seem superficial on the face of it, but the fact is that superficial disrespect leads to the more serious kind, which manifests in sexual harassment and violence against women. It’s nice to notice that there is less of this kind of behavior these days, but it’s still a serious problem.

CWF: How have class and economic differences affected attitudes toward abortion?

LINDA: Class prejudices and racism have sometimes produced social policies that encourage poor women not to have children, but I am not aware of differences in attitude among individuals from different economic classes.

CWF: Would you explain the difference between sexual planning and family planning? Why is the distinction important?

LINDA: The term family planning originated in Margaret Sanger’s work to help married women control the number of children they had. The movement for birth control in the beginning of the twentieth century did not include single women who, by the way, were considered unmarried, not single. A woman’s life circumstances were perceived in terms of her relationship to a man or men. Pre-marital sex was highly disapproved of in those days as it still is today in some quarters. Family planning is more acceptable as a term, but sexual planning is more inclusive because what is actually happening is sexual planning. Women today are having sex regardless of marital status, and this is far more acceptable in society than it used to be. So, women and men are not usually planning families when they seek out birth control; they are planning sex. Thinking of it in this way allows people to be more realistic about what they are doing. Being realistic about sex and sexuality strengthens the ability of a person to make good choices.

CWF: I found the section in Life Choices on “soul life” and spirituality interesting. Would you tell readers a little bit about it?

LINDA: Some women have spiritual experiences in relation to an abortion. They are in touch with the soul level of existence—their own soul and the presence of another soul around them. They have a strong sense of the interconnectedness of life. They negotiate with what I call the visiting soul, energy that feels like a presence in pregnancy that represents the developing fetus, baby, or child. The negotiation takes the form of meditation or just a simple and sometimes strong intuitive sense. Some have reported that they have learned that the visiting soul, in fact the whole pregnancy is there to teach them to be more aware and to live their lives differently. Some have said that the visiting soul was not interested in coming fully into the physical. I found what they had to say fascinating.

CWF: What causes you to think the world is evolving to a level playing ground for all?

LINDA: There are signs that the exploitation of the Earth’s resources and the manner in which human society is conducting itself is reaching a crisis point. Capitalism is running out of markets. Economic interdependence has become the rule. This forces countries to seek more cooperative ways to conduct their business. The destruction of the environment is reaching life-threatening proportions. Wars no longer serve the same purpose they have in the past. We have to ask, “How much longer can we live as though the Earth doesn’t matter? How much longer can we pretend that we are not completely dependent on the Earth for our very survival?” It seems logical to me that our economic, political, and cultural institutions will have to change radically to accommodate the conditions. It’s an evolutionary issue on all levels, personal as well as planetary. The deep yearning for peace and equality is only going to get stronger. It’s not a historical accident that women are on the march and demanding equality and respect. The survival of the world will likely depend on the changes that need to be made to integrate women’s full participation into the governance of society. I am optimistic that we can do this and that human life can evolve to a way of living that honors the free feminine equally with the masculine.

CWF: How do you define responsible, sexual behavior?

LINDA: Responsible sexual behavior starts with knowing how you feel, and thinking through the consequences of choices you might make about having or not having sexual intercourse. If this is difficult because it’s embarrassing or because you feel unsure or ashamed, then getting help from a counselor is a good idea. If that is impossible, there are books you can read, like Our Bodies, Ourselves, the classic work by the Boston Women’s Health Book Collective. Confusion and difficulty about sex causes people to act without thinking, which is the biggest cause of unwanted pregnancy. Using birth control methods is relatively easy and they are not usually difficult to obtain. In some parts of the U.S. it is difficult to get birth control, but even if that is the case, it’s best to make the effort. There is nothing wrong with having an abortion, but abortion is the birth control method that is most fraught with difficulty for most women because of the emotional connection with pregnancy, so it’s easier if you can prevent unwanted pregnancy in the first place.

CWF: Linda, thank you for sharing your thoughts with Eve Laments readers. Where can they find your book, Life Choices?

LINDA: Thanks so much for having me here. Life Choices can be found in bookstores and libraries. Also, it can be ordered on my website/blog at lifechoicesteachingsofabortion.com where you can click on the icons for Sentient Publications, Barnes & Noble, or Amazon.

—Colleen Walsh Fong, Eve Laments